Week of 12/16/2013

This weeks top headlines:

Cairo, Egypt  got snow for the first time in  112 years. Looks like it's the global warmers who are in deNile of global cooling. Deniers!

V.P. Joe Biden groped a White House reporter. Joe reminds me of Muhammad Ali,  float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, grope like a dope.

Joe: I'm all about jobs, boob jobs,

Scientists are worried that plagues and fungi will destroy all the banana crops. Jay Carney will probably say "let them eat soy" since Obamacare will provide an endless supply of Soylent Green.

Barbara Walters said "we thought he (Obama) was going to be ... the next Messiah." Well this moron is partly right because he certainly has made a mess of things.

In related news John Podesta said referring to the GOP that they are "a cult worthy of Jonestown." According to the NY Times Jim Jones the cult leader was a Democrat involved in voter fraud. It seems the Obama KoolAid is a particularly strong recipe this year.

Newt Gingrich said "every major city which is a poverty center is run by Democrats." For those of you who have trouble understanding this let me make it perfectly clear "if it's destitute, demoralized, and demolished it was built by Democrats."

"You didn't build that" Democrats did.

Team Obama has come up with another winner of an ad to convince young adults to get healthcare. I'll bet his pajamas have a trap door in the back, and it's not for taking a dump.

Looks like another candidate for transgender surgery.

Nancy Pelosi said "just being in the country illegally is not enough of a reason to be deported..." Apparently she feels "you have to pass the border to find out what's in it (the U.S.)."

In related news the Vatican Chief Justice said Nancy Pelosi shouldn't receive Communion because she supports abortion. I agree she shouldn't receive Communion, but an exorcism is in order. The Power of Christ compels you!

My name is Legend for we are many.

The Heritage Foundation claims that even if the Obamacare website works, it's not safe with your private information. That's just like giving a porn site your personal information...at least that's what I've been told.

The new Ryan/Murray budget proposal includes cuts to military retirees. Here's a better idea, how about we cut that useless vestige that sits atop bureaucrats heads and leave our heroes alone.

Al Gore's prediction in 2008 that the entire North Pole ice cap would disappear in 5 years failed to come true. This global warming misfortune teller is probably freezing his crystal balls off right now.

Al must have defective balls.