A&E suspended Phil Robertson for comments hurtful to the gay community. Perhaps as a consolation to gays the Anal & Erections network can create a new program called Dick Dynasty that is sponsored by The Homo Depot.
In related news A&E showed a Duck Dynasty marathon while Phil was suspended, and has now reinstated him. For some reason not everyone is GLADD about it.
Global warming scientists get stuck in disappearing ice. I hope all those poor drowning polar bears Al Gore talked about take them out for lunch. Stupid iceholes! Note: Polar bears live in the Arctic.
Michael Eric Dyson of MSNBC said that Christian men's love for God "sounds interestingly homoerotic." Mr. Dyson doesn't understand that there are three different words translated as love in the Greek language, and I find him to be "interestingly homoidiotic."
Chris Hayes said "gotta imagine the numbers for healthcare.gov today are enormous." This dudes brain has more glitches than the healthcare website, and has gone Hayeswire. In related news all the Iowans who used the website were told to resubmit their info. If at first you don't succeed it might be because the website sucks.
Piers Morgan was beaten by a cricket. Forget about gun control, this limey was beaten by a cricket. Jumpin Jiminy!
Santa Claus was shot in the back by a pellet gun while giving away gifts. Thank God the war on Christmas hasn't escalated to live ammo.
Plus-size-modeling.com is suggesting Mattel make a plus size Barbie doll. I thought they already had a Miss Piggy doll.
Macy's had a black Santa Claus for Christmas. It is rumored he is called Sambo Claus, and intends to move his workshop to Jamaica mon.
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