Obama said I spend every minute every day to make the economy work. The result is plenty of jobs created for caddies.
Homeland Security lost track of more than a million visa holders. Their slogan has changed from what's in your wallet to whose in your country.
A paralyzed man had his testicle bitten off by his pet dog as he slept. Iams certainly sure those bite size doggy treats came in a reusable bag.
A Texas man dug up a World War ll artillery shell in his back yard. Someone should tell him that striking a live shell with a shovel can give you some shellacking.
The teachers union president said that if teachers carries guns students will say "If I answer the wrong question, is my teacher going to shoot me"? If your teacher asks you what is the capitol of Texas, and you answer George Washington you deserve to be shot.
Dianne Feinstein displayed a map of the United States, Canada, Mexico, and referred to it as "Homeland." She's the Chair of the Intelligence Committee, but off her rocker is more appropriate.
Three million Time Warner cable customers will lose CBS in a fee dispute. I guess viewers will have to get their biased news from another news manufacturer.
In related news C.N.N. lost 32% of it's viewership post Trayvon Martin's murder trial. Their bias gave them the slogan: C.N.N. The most busted name in news manufacturing.
A woman was arrested by wildlife officials for selling lobster tails on Craig's List. In the future the only crustaceans she'll be handling are crabs in prison.
Charlie Rangel called tea party members "white crackers." Charlie is a snack himself, a Hershey's Squirt Bar. Nothing but shit ever comes out of his mouth.
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