A new facial treatment from Japan uses live snails to secrete mucous your face. Their competitor opened a shell-less terrestrial gastropod mollusk facial center, and their slogan is why be snailed when you can be slugged instead?
The city of Detroit is for all intents and purposes bankrupt. They are requesting a bailout, but giving them one would be like trying to bail out the Titanic.
The Dodd-Frank regulations could fill 28 copies of the 1,400 page novel "War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy. Dodd-Frank addressed to big to fail by being to big to read.
Democrat Rep. Frederica Wilson said black men are arrested for "eating while black..." The only time she could possibly be correct is if they are African American cannibals.
A superstitious man committed suicide after a bird sat on his head. I can just imagine what terrible luck he would have had if a black cat crossed his path.
Chris Matthews apologized on behalf of all white people for the George Zimmerman verdict. I apologize on behalf of all white people for the idiocy of Chris "restless legs syndrome" Matthews.
Martin Bashir said "I.R.S. is new way for Republicans to say nigger." As usual he is wrong. Niggardly is new way for Republicans to say I.R.S. which means to be grudgingly mean about spending or granting conservative groups non profit status.
In response to new abortion restrictions Nancy Pelosi said G.O.P. "needs lesson on birds and bees." Maybe it's the pro choice crowd who needs a a lesson on the birds and the bees since they obviously don't understand the consequences of having sex.
While the President claimed you will not have to change your plan or doctor with Obamacare the H.H.S. just said you may be able to keep your doctor. The President clarified his position by saying you will be able to keep your doctor, but only if you're his caddy.
Barack Obama tweeted "Trayvon Martin could have been me 35 years ago." but only if Trayvon was half white, and shot by a white Hispanic Hawaiian neighborhood watch captain.
Michael Moore filed for divorce. Rumors are the overweight directors wife was flubbergasted.
Dzhokar Tsarnaev graced the cover of Rolling Stone magazine like a rock legend. Most Americans don't want to look into the mind of the Boston Bomber unless it's at his autopsy. That's why a Rolling Stone gathers no subscribers.
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