Al Qaeda is teaching followers to behead people kindly. They will be issuing sharper, Teflon coated knives, it sucks when it jams on bone.
William Shatner just released a new rock and roll album. It will boldly go where other crappy records have gone... to the 99 cent bin in Walmart.
In just three weeks three Tesla electric cars caught fire. Tesla will soon change their marketing strategy to target rednecks, they just love tailgate barbecues.
"So help me God" is now optional in the Air Force honor oath. It will be replaced with the more acceptable "Allahu Ahkbar" rallying cry.
A dad was declared an "unfit parent" by a court appointed psychiatrist for not taking his kid to McDonalds. Someone forgot our grandparents considered McDonalds food cruel and unusual punishment, especially for livestock.
In 2011 America's government benefits recipients outnumbered it's full time workers. Apparently work is as overrated as our President.
A toll supervisor was convicted of stealing a drivers wallet. I guess toll crossings costing and arm and a leg are thing of the past.
Obamacare supporters claim that "if you like your plan you can keep your plan" is still true. What they forgot to tell you is that you can keep it if it's a plan covering euthanasia.
A new survey says fewer men are paying for sex than ever before. With unemployment for men at historic levels the homeless are now begging for food and sex.
Officials warn Healthcare.gov is a security risk for identity theft. We used to worry about malpractice, but now we have to worry about malware also.
Jackie Mason said Obama is a lying maniac. To paraphrase Mr. Mason, the President likes to lie down on the job.
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| I love the smell of bullshit in the morning. It smells like victory |
