State Dept. Jen Psaki said pulling people from Yemen isn't an evacuation, it's a "reduction in staffing." Is that why after the Fukushima meltdown Japan started holding nuclear reduction in staffing drills?
On the Tonight Show President Obama erred when he said we need to deepen our ports along the Gulf (of Mexico) like Charleston, Savannah, and Jacksonville. Perhaps he meant golf ports since that's all he does when he's there.
He also talked about the Olympics to be held in Russia, and mentioned track, swimming pool, and balance beam events. I'm not really sure they hold the swimming competition at the winter Olympics, but I guess it makes it easier to use freeze frame photography.
Male skinny dipping swimmers were warned about testicle biting fish in Scandinavia. Since humans eat fish nuggets it's only fair that fish eat human nuggets.
Huffpoop had an article that said Christianity has "Jihad" just like Islam. Yeah I really hate it when Wahabbi's knock on my door, and give me free Korans.
Mike Bloomberg said "The new Common Core curriculum will empower students to achieve at higher levels in the years ahead," but students dropped 30 points in math, and 21 points in English. It's apparent that the same politician who lowered your salt and soft drink intake also lowered 20 I.Q. points off your kids intelligence.
A Florida abortion clinic offered coupons to get 50 dollars off an abortion. Like Kermit Gosnell says you clip a coupon, I clip a spine.
A rodeo employee wore an Obama mask, and Claire McCaskill called it shameful. Well maybe an Obama masked rodeo clown is the only way to stop the bull.
Some liberal magazines will not call the Washington football team "Redskins" because they feel it denigrates Native Americans. Well how about we call them the Washington Foreskins? Instead of a kickoff we have a tipoff, penalties are 10 millimeters, and you don't get cut from the roster you get circumcised.
Showing posts with label Bloomberg. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bloomberg. Show all posts
Monday, August 12, 2013
Sunday, June 30, 2013
The week of June 24th, 2013
N.Y. Mayor Mike Bloomberg said "if sparklers are legal terrorists win." I guess those sparkler suicide vest makers will soon be filing for bankruptcy.
Mona Charen of the National Review is upset with the use of the word "pimp" like the Washington Post's recipe for a "pimped out gin and tonic." She conveniently forgot that our lame President chatted on the radio with "pimp with a limp."
Police attempted to serve a warrant to a landlord for uncut grass. Apparently they were unable to roll it into a joint and were pissed.
An LGBT group was upset the military left transgenders service members out of military's "gay pride" event. Exactly how many transgender service members are in the military? Probably not enough to declare war on Vatican City.
A White House climate adviser said "a war on coal is exactly what's needed." If it's fought anything like the war on drugs we'll soon be getting our coal from Mexican Coal Cartels.
Tsunami like waves were observed were along the N.J. coast. Governor Chris Cristie must have been practicing his cannon ball dive off the pier at Seaside Heights.
President Obama said the "Keystone (pipeline) should not be approved if it will increase greenhouse gas emissions". I believe more greenhouses gasses are released by unemployed fat asses sitting on the couch all day instead of working on the pipeline.
The White House deflected criticism of the up to 100 million dollar cost of the First Families visit to Africa by claiming "it's great bang for our buck." The only way that could be possible is if Air Force One returns filled with Blood Diamonds.
Librarians will be recruited to sign up people for Obamacare. They only bad thing is that if you have a question they'll just shush you. QUIET!
Trayvon Martin called George Zimmerman a "creepy ass cracker." Does that mean a Jewish person is called a "creepy ass matzoh, or an Italian is a creepy ass biscotti?"
Tommy Christopher said Trayvon Martin's use of the word "cracker" isn't racist, but compliments Florida's proud cowboy history. Hey asshat, urban blacks hate cowboys, their clothes, music, and probably refer to a wooden casket as a cracker barrel.
Mona Charen of the National Review is upset with the use of the word "pimp" like the Washington Post's recipe for a "pimped out gin and tonic." She conveniently forgot that our lame President chatted on the radio with "pimp with a limp."
Police attempted to serve a warrant to a landlord for uncut grass. Apparently they were unable to roll it into a joint and were pissed.
An LGBT group was upset the military left transgenders service members out of military's "gay pride" event. Exactly how many transgender service members are in the military? Probably not enough to declare war on Vatican City.
A White House climate adviser said "a war on coal is exactly what's needed." If it's fought anything like the war on drugs we'll soon be getting our coal from Mexican Coal Cartels.
Tsunami like waves were observed were along the N.J. coast. Governor Chris Cristie must have been practicing his cannon ball dive off the pier at Seaside Heights.
President Obama said the "Keystone (pipeline) should not be approved if it will increase greenhouse gas emissions". I believe more greenhouses gasses are released by unemployed fat asses sitting on the couch all day instead of working on the pipeline.
The White House deflected criticism of the up to 100 million dollar cost of the First Families visit to Africa by claiming "it's great bang for our buck." The only way that could be possible is if Air Force One returns filled with Blood Diamonds.
Librarians will be recruited to sign up people for Obamacare. They only bad thing is that if you have a question they'll just shush you. QUIET!
Trayvon Martin called George Zimmerman a "creepy ass cracker." Does that mean a Jewish person is called a "creepy ass matzoh, or an Italian is a creepy ass biscotti?"
Tommy Christopher said Trayvon Martin's use of the word "cracker" isn't racist, but compliments Florida's proud cowboy history. Hey asshat, urban blacks hate cowboys, their clothes, music, and probably refer to a wooden casket as a cracker barrel.
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