Sunday, June 30, 2013

The week of June 24th, 2013

N.Y. Mayor Mike Bloomberg said "if sparklers are legal terrorists win." I guess those sparkler suicide vest makers will soon be filing for bankruptcy.

Mona Charen of the National Review is upset with the use of the word "pimp" like the Washington Post's recipe for a "pimped out gin and tonic." She conveniently forgot that our lame President chatted on the radio with "pimp with a limp."

Police attempted to serve a warrant to a landlord for uncut grass. Apparently they were unable to roll it into a joint and were pissed.

An LGBT group was upset the military left transgenders service members out of military's "gay pride" event. Exactly how many transgender service members are in the military? Probably not  enough to declare war on Vatican City.

A White House climate adviser said "a war on coal is exactly what's needed." If it's fought anything like the war on drugs we'll soon be getting our coal from Mexican Coal Cartels.

Tsunami like waves were observed were along the N.J. coast. Governor Chris Cristie must have been practicing his cannon ball dive off the pier at Seaside Heights.

President Obama said the "Keystone (pipeline) should not be approved if it will increase greenhouse gas emissions". I believe more greenhouses gasses are released by unemployed fat asses sitting on the couch all day instead of working on the pipeline.

The White House deflected criticism of the up to 100 million dollar cost of the First Families visit to Africa by claiming "it's great bang for our buck." The only way that could be possible is if Air Force One returns filled with Blood Diamonds.

Librarians will be recruited to sign up people for Obamacare. They only bad thing is that if you have a question they'll just shush you. QUIET!

Trayvon Martin called George Zimmerman a "creepy ass cracker." Does that mean a Jewish person is called a "creepy ass matzoh, or an Italian is a creepy ass biscotti?"

Tommy Christopher said Trayvon Martin's use of the word "cracker" isn't racist, but compliments Florida's proud cowboy history. Hey asshat, urban blacks hate cowboys, their clothes, music, and probably refer to a wooden casket as a cracker barrel.

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