President Obama said "at some point the government will run out of money..." His solution is to raise the debt ceiling which actually makes it more of a retractable roof.
The President also supports legislation to combat discrimination of certain dog breeds (ex. pit bulls). It certainly isn't fair that some wind up in a shelter or on a menu while others vacation on Martha's Vineyard.
In related news the President has a new dog named Sunny. Unfortunately Bo refuses to fly with Sunny so the White House has to order a new Osprey.
Schools replace tug of war with tug of piece. Tugging a rope hard enough to make the opposing group fall down? This means war!
Chris Cristie said "homosexuality is innate, not a sin". Homosexuality may be innate, but Nate is still a sinner.
Illegal aliens were protesting outside a Chicago hospital, and demanding free organ transplants. I agree, we should transplant their organs back to Mexico.
Poor people can make more money than teachers in 10 different states by applying for government benefits. A new sign outside the welfare office said "Earn more than a teacher in a recession proof career, no education required, but a degree of laziness. Apply today.
A German doctor removed liver tumors using an iPad. In the past a surgeon would ask a nurse for a sponge, but now an iPad.
Bradley Manning was given a thirty year prison sentence, and wants taxpayers to pay for a sex change operation. Once a traitor to his country, and now a traitor to his sex. At least he will be able to use the "Almost Women's Room" until he get's his operation.
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